EACH CHILD IS UNIQUE

If you really want to get your child's attention the next time they complain..."How come she's allowed to do that and I'm not?" simply respond..."Because I love them more." Then stand back and watch the expression. I have used this so many times with mine. The expression is priceless but then we both start laughing as they realize...nah...she didn't meant that.
As parents we love all our children equally. However, if we are honest with ourselves we will admit that we love each child differently. What I mean by that is that all children are different, with different personalites and dispositions.
Take my own children for example. My eldest, my only daughter, and I have a special bond. Part of it is because she is my only girl so we can identify in ways the boys and I can't. We enjoy doing 'girly' things and having 'girlish' discussions.
There is a fine line between being a mother and a friend to your child but with my daughter we have managed the keep that balance. We love to take road trips together. We have this game we play. While in the car on one of our road trips, we are not mother and daughter and anything we say stays between us. Wow, some of the interesting conversations that have taken place! The things we've shared. I almost want to put my hands over my ears and say..."Too much info!" I can honestly say not only is she my daughter, she is also my best friend. She is now 24 and for the last year and half we have been sharing an apartment because we both needed roommates. Eventually we will have our own places, but for now, we are happy with our arrangement.
My eldest son, I consider my right hand man, my rock. He is so level headed and strong and he keeps me grounded. With him I can sit and talk politics, world events. Our conversations are always so interesting. He is also my protector, not that I feel I need one, but he seems to like the role.:) Yes, he is my rock and I am very proud of him.
My youngest son, well he was my rebel. He is/was also my 'partner in crime' and my buddy. When I wanted to do something adventurous or fun, he was the one I would take with me. His wit is unmatched by anyone and he and I could exchange barbs for hours! He is so much fun. Definately a free spirit.
So you see, although I love all my children equally, I do love them in different ways because they are each unique individuals and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Please share with me the uniqueness of your own children. I'd love to hear from you.

BEST ADVICE I'VE RECEIVED OR GIVEN

The best piece of advice I was ever given, and I truly wish I could recall who gave it to me, was...'Pick Your Battles.' Yes, that little bit of wisdom came in handy on many occasions and I truly think it was the reason my children were open to hearing what I had to say or to my opinions as they grew up.
I have a friend whom I spent a lot of time with throughout our children's youth and I remember how it seemed to me she was always arguing with her children. I'll give you an example. One day her daughter, then 10, was heading to a friends house and her mother asked her to go put on a hat since the weather was somewhat cool. Her daughter argued back that she didn't think she needed one nor did she want to wear one. My friends response was to keep arguing with her daughter to put the hat on as she wanted her to wear one. Her daughter put the dreaded hat on angrily and left in a huff. My reason for telling you about this incident? I noticed that every time my friend tried to tell her children something they would put up their hands and say..."Okay Mom, okay. I know." and proceed to tune her out. Does that sound familiar? My friend asked me what I would do. My honest advice to her was, yes you guessed it...'Pick your battles.'
Does it truly matter in the big picture whether she wore that hat or not? What was the worst that could happen? She might find herself a bit cold and maybe next time she will decide she needs a hat. No harm done. However, by arguing with her, she has left angry (in her opinion viewing her mom's reaction as bossy and treating her like a baby). Maybe my friend should have instead asked her daughter if she felt she needed a hat? Let her make the decision herself since it wasn't life threatening and spared the argument and angry feelings? I mean, it was just a hat after all. As I told my friend save your battles for bigger more important issues. If you argue with them every step of their lives they will start tuning you out. And teenagers are really good at that I have discovered!
In my opinion, in the big picture of life....who cares how many piercing they get or how they wear their hair? It doesn't change who they are and the more you let them know you don't like it, guaranteed it will make them cling longer to it. Save your battles for those nights when you think they are making poor choices such as, taking a ride home from someone that has been drinking. Maybe then, if they haven't been listening to you arguing with them all the time, they might actually stop and listen to you. More on that in another post.
Do you have an experience in the area to share? Would love to hear it.