PARENTS ON STRIKE

I came across this amusing photo on the internet and it gave me a laugh because I'm sure all parents have wanted to do this at some point. I know I have!!

Respect and Teens

To this day my children (aged g24, b22, b20) and I maintain close and open relationships. I won't presume to say that they tell me 'everything' that goes on in their lives but enough to have me at times throw my hands over my ears laughing "Too much info!!!"
Keeping an open line of cummincation with them has always been a priority with me. As young teens I told each of my children, "I don't expect you to be perfect. I am aware that at times you might try things, drinking, partying etc. All I ask is that you be smart and responsible and don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable or is harmful that might put you in a dangerous situation. If you ever find yourself in a situation or position, such as being drunk or with someone you are uncomfortable with, please phone me and I will come and get you. I will not lecture you right away or give you a hard time because your safety is more important to me." It didn't mean that I would dismiss the situation and act as though it never happened, but we would sit down after it had passed and discuss it. Believe it or not this worked well throughout their teen years and proved to me anyway that it was the right approach to take with teens.
On two different occasions two of my children and their friends brought home a teen from a party that was suffering from alcohol poisoning. On both of these occasions they were afraid to go home because of how their parents would react. It wasn't that I 'brushed it under the rug' or handled it lightly but they knew that my initial reaction would not be to 'freak' out at them. They were taken to the hospital and I phoned both parents and spoke to them so they had a chance to digest the situation and react initially a bit more calmly. On both occasions the remainder of the teens and I sat up late into the night discussing the dangers of what had happened and how to avoid it in the future.
I must say that I was proud that they had not gotten into that situation and that they had the good sense to look out for their friends. They proved they were true friends.
Again, I'm not saying my children were perfect. Sure they did their share of partying, but so did their mother and father in their youth.
We can't be blind and think that our children will never do those things or be self righteous and act as though we never did them either. At times, we have to remember what it was like to be that age, the things we tried and experienced and what helped us get through it with little or no harm. Then we have to hope and pray that we have laid the groundwork to produce responsible, sensible children that are never afraid to come to us when we are needed the most.

KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS :)

When my children were younger we use to do a lot of travelling and camping with them. On one of our trips down south to Santa's Village we checked in and then drove around the campsite looking for our site. My eldest son, then 6, was bouncing around on the back seat.

"Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom really bad!!!" he exclaimed.

We pulled over to the shower/restroom building and he hopped out and took off running to the washroom. Less than a minute later he was back still hopping around. Before I could ask him why he had run straight back he said..."There is a sign in there that says NO BUTTS ON TOILET!!!!"

Like I said, kids sure say the funniest things and laughter truly is the best medicine

.YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOM WHEN:
You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"

You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak! from the website ahajokes.com

OH OH I GOT TAGGED!

I got tagged by mondaymorningpower

8 THINGS ABOUT ME.....

1. I think I have ADD...I always have many things on the go and take forever to complete any of them.

2. The thing I am most passionate about in life is children starting but not ending with my own.

3. I check my horoscope that gets emailed to me faithfully everyday.

4. I am somewhat superstitous and never walk under ladders and throw salt over my shoulder when I spill it. :)

5. I am a real people person and sometimes annoy those with me by talking to complete strangers.

6. I can be very forgetful and absentminded.

7. I am hooked on frozen pizza from Giant Tiger with my own embellishments of hot peppers, bacon, extra cheeze...mmm.mmmm.

8. I really really want a puppy but they are too expensive ;(

TAG RULES:


Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
At the end of your post you need to tag 5 people and include their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
If you find out that they have already been tagged, then upon recieveing notification of this, you must find someone else to tag.

I have tagged:

RICK'S TIME ON EARTH
A MOM'S BLOG
SCAVENGER ART
THE FEATHERED NEST
THE DECORATED HOUSE

NO TIME FOR PLAY

I have decided today that I must devote a good portion of my day to my artwork. That may involve turning off my computer and walking away....now that will be hard as I admit I am hooked at times on 'surfing' the net. However, to be fair to myself I do spend a lot of that time researching art and marketing.

I remember when we got our first computer which seems years ago. When my children reached their teens I learned about 'ICQ'....remember that program? My children got so tired of me telling them, "Be careful who you talk to and don't give out any private information...you never know who it might be."

As your kids get into their teen years it is so hard to monitor their activity on the computer and I for one believe in a certain amount of privacy, even for children. As a result I spent a lot of time guiding them and urging caution while still allowing them a certain amount of privacy.

For the most part though, they were mainly chatting with their local friends on MSN. At first it annoyed me and like most parents I would say...pick up the phone and call them. After awhile I realized that it was truly harmless the way they popped on to check what everyone was up to. I realized to them it was like a party line. Fridays, they would hop on and find out what everyone was up to on the weekend and plan outings. It actually really helped one of my children socially as they weren't the type to phone one on one.

Then came the day they introduced Mom to chatting. At first I was leary. Soon it became a useful tool as a lot of my children's friends added me to their list of contacts. It helped me to gain trust with my children and their friends and you wouldn't believe the information that came my way that really helped me down the road. Sometimes if I found one of my children seemed to be moody or withdrawn, one of their friends might fill me in on some incident at school that was bothering them. Of course, they never divulged truly personal information but just enough to help this mother out.

Often if something was bothering one of my children and they didn't feel up to a heart to heart they would confide in me through the internet, in the form of an email. Sometimes it is easier to share a problem when you aren't sitting there face to face. Recently I added myself to Facebook as this seems to be the most popular of sites for young people. It's also a great way to keep track of what your kids are up to!! For example, my youngest son away at college is terrible for keeping in touch with me. He just does not understand the worry parents always carry with them. So if a day goes by and I don't hear from him I pop on Facebook and see that he has been posting to his friends and I breath a sigh of relief that all is well with him and I resist the urge to "hound" him.

So I guess the internet has it's good points and bad. I was fortunate that my children went through the 'teen surfer years' without any serious incidents. As much as I prefer human interaction more I realize that the internet is here to stay and we might as well use it to our benefit.

....and as I started to say in the beginning of this post it is time to walk away from my computer and work on my art. I need to get this painting finished as it has been sitting on the easel far too long.

Better look twice before you sign that next School Excursion form!!!!

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

LIFE'S CHALLENGES

We all know the saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." If you think about it this is really a very good way to view life. I have tried to follow this principle throughout my adult life or actually I have drawn strength from the saying "God doesn't give you more than you can bear." Although not a very religious person I do consider myself spiritual and this has gotten me through many obstacles and rough spots in my life.

When my children were younger, starting with my firstborn at the age of 6 months, they experienced some serious health problems that required a lot of my time and a lot of travelling 6 hrs. to a major center (Hospital for Sick Kids) for treatment and follow up. Needless to say, being a working mother, at times pregnant battling my own health issues with Fibromyalgia and a sleep disorder, it was very exhausting and taxing. I remember a friend of mine going through a health crisis with one of her own and finding herself at her wits end asking me how I found the strength to keep it up and not let it get to me.



My story and advice to her was very simple to my way of thinking. I told her what got me through. "God doesn't give you more than you can bear," I told her. At times I would tell myself if these children had been born to someone else, someone that wasn't strong, maybe a single parent or a mother in an unhappy marriage what would the outcome have been? I rationalized to myself that these children, with their health problems were born to me because I was strong, loved children immensely and was capable of coping. So I had to be strong and I was thankful that I was given the personality or maybe the strength to cope with it all.

These children really needed me and I admit, I love to be needed so it came easy to me to help them through. They grew up into very strong individuals that have great coping skills of their own, never using their health issues or disabilities as a crutch but facing life head on and overcoming their own obstacles as best they can.

Maybe there was a purpose for them to go through the experiences they did and hopefully it will help them in their own lives and they will in turn...Pass it on. Raise children of their own that are strong and independent and able to see through life's obstacles and realize that by believing in themselves and their own abilities..."the only obstacles in life are the ones we put there ourselves."

That last quote is my own :) Do you have any sayings or quotes that help you get through? Would love to hear some of them.
Remember: Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Albert Einstein

THE HOUSE CAN KEEP

above: a picture of my children when they were little


Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller

When I was a young mother I idolized my older sister and how well she maintained her home. She also had three children a few years older than mine yet her house seemed to always be neat and clean.
"How did she manage it?" I often asked myself. I never seemed to be able to keep on top of things. At that time my children were 2, 4 and 6 years of age. There were always toys scattered around my living room. Beds still unmade late in the afternoon. I remember one time she dropped by to visit me and popped her head into my bedroom and jokingly commented on the fact my bed was still unmade. I know it was meant in jest but it didn't sit well with me.
One day my mother was over visiting with me and I commented on how I felt so inadequate in my housekeeping and wondered why I couldn't keep it up.
My mother's response is something I have kept with me and remember to this day. Whenever I felt inadequate as a housekeeper I would remember my mother's words to me.
She said, "Hen, (a form of Scottish endearment) your house may be untidy but it is clean. You may not spend a lot of your day cleaning but you spend most of it, sitting on the floor playing with your children. That time and attention spent on your children is far more important than any tidy house."
So whenever I looked around at the mess we had made with all the "Little People" houses and zoos spread around the livingroom or the roads and bridges we made for all the Tonka cars, I would remember my mother's words and go back to playing with my children and the make believe villages we created. The house some day will be tidy, when they are older and on their own. I could wait until then and so could my house.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE......

I have to share one of my favourite exchanges with my two sons when they were younger.

My oldest son Kyle was around 8 and he was helping me prepare a stew I was making for dinner. He was at the counter totally engrossed in the preparation of the vegetables when his younger 6 year old brother Corey came by and remarked..."Hah hah Kyle you are doing girls work."

Kyle responded, "Boys need to learn how to cook too." I mentally patted myself on the back feeling good about the fact that my son had actually learned the importance of equality and equal share in work. But my bubble soon burst when I heard Kyle add..."After all, who is going to do the cooking when the mom is sick?"

Not quite the lesson I was trying to teach....:)

Power Tripping

There are some parents that have this need to have control over their children. I'm not talking about control as in what time they go to bed, their curfew etc. I am referring to the need to put it simply..."be the boss". Why do they feel this need to have total control over their children's lives?

Of course as parents, we need to have set rules for our children to follow and we do it for their safety and wellbeing. However, where do we draw the line on doing it for their best interests or doing it because...as some parents say..."because I said so?"

As an example, I knew one mother that wouldn't let her daughter wash her hair every day. Her reasons? Nothing valid I could think of. Was it causing the daughter to be late for school? No. Was it bad for her hair to wash it daily? No again. So the mom's reason? Power and control as I see it. The result was her daughter would go to school early and wash her hair in the girl's washroom. I found that very sad. Sad that the mother felt this need to have this control over her daughter and sad that the daughter had to sneak behind her mother's back to do something almost every girl does. That would be the day I would discourage my teen from good hygiene. When it comes to boys you practically have to throw them in the shower!!

Another example. When the School Board brought into the Kindergarten classroom 'snacks provided' instead of the children having to bring their own snacks daily, I know one mother that disagreed strongly. The reason for the school bringing this into being was to ensure that all children received good nutritious snacks as some parents would send inappropriate sweet snacks and then some kids would come with barely anything. This mother wanted her child to eat what she prepared and sent with her and did not want to take part in the program. Okay, I'm not going to argue the mother's point as she may have some valid issues. However, the result of her stand left her daughter sitting there eating different snacks than the rest of her schoolmates and really made her feel centered out, all because the mother wanted to 'prove her point.' No matter that it was at the expense of her daughter.

Do these parents not realize taking these stands the effect it has on their children or is their need to as I said earlier..."be the boss" mean more to them.

The next time you take a stand at the expense of your child, just give it a lot of thought and think how it will affect them and then ask yourself, is it really worth it?