BEST ADVICE I'VE RECEIVED OR GIVEN

The best piece of advice I was ever given, and I truly wish I could recall who gave it to me, was...'Pick Your Battles.' Yes, that little bit of wisdom came in handy on many occasions and I truly think it was the reason my children were open to hearing what I had to say or to my opinions as they grew up.
I have a friend whom I spent a lot of time with throughout our children's youth and I remember how it seemed to me she was always arguing with her children. I'll give you an example. One day her daughter, then 10, was heading to a friends house and her mother asked her to go put on a hat since the weather was somewhat cool. Her daughter argued back that she didn't think she needed one nor did she want to wear one. My friends response was to keep arguing with her daughter to put the hat on as she wanted her to wear one. Her daughter put the dreaded hat on angrily and left in a huff. My reason for telling you about this incident? I noticed that every time my friend tried to tell her children something they would put up their hands and say..."Okay Mom, okay. I know." and proceed to tune her out. Does that sound familiar? My friend asked me what I would do. My honest advice to her was, yes you guessed it...'Pick your battles.'
Does it truly matter in the big picture whether she wore that hat or not? What was the worst that could happen? She might find herself a bit cold and maybe next time she will decide she needs a hat. No harm done. However, by arguing with her, she has left angry (in her opinion viewing her mom's reaction as bossy and treating her like a baby). Maybe my friend should have instead asked her daughter if she felt she needed a hat? Let her make the decision herself since it wasn't life threatening and spared the argument and angry feelings? I mean, it was just a hat after all. As I told my friend save your battles for bigger more important issues. If you argue with them every step of their lives they will start tuning you out. And teenagers are really good at that I have discovered!
In my opinion, in the big picture of life....who cares how many piercing they get or how they wear their hair? It doesn't change who they are and the more you let them know you don't like it, guaranteed it will make them cling longer to it. Save your battles for those nights when you think they are making poor choices such as, taking a ride home from someone that has been drinking. Maybe then, if they haven't been listening to you arguing with them all the time, they might actually stop and listen to you. More on that in another post.
Do you have an experience in the area to share? Would love to hear it.