NO TIME FOR PLAY

I have decided today that I must devote a good portion of my day to my artwork. That may involve turning off my computer and walking away....now that will be hard as I admit I am hooked at times on 'surfing' the net. However, to be fair to myself I do spend a lot of that time researching art and marketing.

I remember when we got our first computer which seems years ago. When my children reached their teens I learned about 'ICQ'....remember that program? My children got so tired of me telling them, "Be careful who you talk to and don't give out any private information...you never know who it might be."

As your kids get into their teen years it is so hard to monitor their activity on the computer and I for one believe in a certain amount of privacy, even for children. As a result I spent a lot of time guiding them and urging caution while still allowing them a certain amount of privacy.

For the most part though, they were mainly chatting with their local friends on MSN. At first it annoyed me and like most parents I would say...pick up the phone and call them. After awhile I realized that it was truly harmless the way they popped on to check what everyone was up to. I realized to them it was like a party line. Fridays, they would hop on and find out what everyone was up to on the weekend and plan outings. It actually really helped one of my children socially as they weren't the type to phone one on one.

Then came the day they introduced Mom to chatting. At first I was leary. Soon it became a useful tool as a lot of my children's friends added me to their list of contacts. It helped me to gain trust with my children and their friends and you wouldn't believe the information that came my way that really helped me down the road. Sometimes if I found one of my children seemed to be moody or withdrawn, one of their friends might fill me in on some incident at school that was bothering them. Of course, they never divulged truly personal information but just enough to help this mother out.

Often if something was bothering one of my children and they didn't feel up to a heart to heart they would confide in me through the internet, in the form of an email. Sometimes it is easier to share a problem when you aren't sitting there face to face. Recently I added myself to Facebook as this seems to be the most popular of sites for young people. It's also a great way to keep track of what your kids are up to!! For example, my youngest son away at college is terrible for keeping in touch with me. He just does not understand the worry parents always carry with them. So if a day goes by and I don't hear from him I pop on Facebook and see that he has been posting to his friends and I breath a sigh of relief that all is well with him and I resist the urge to "hound" him.

So I guess the internet has it's good points and bad. I was fortunate that my children went through the 'teen surfer years' without any serious incidents. As much as I prefer human interaction more I realize that the internet is here to stay and we might as well use it to our benefit.

....and as I started to say in the beginning of this post it is time to walk away from my computer and work on my art. I need to get this painting finished as it has been sitting on the easel far too long.

TRIAL AND ERROR

This blog is not meant to insinuate that parenting is easy or that I have all the answers. That is definately not the case. I am just a middle aged mother of three grown children that has learned a lot during my years of raising them. Like most of life's experiences most of it was through trial and error. So if some of my trials and errors and the knowledge I have gained from them can help any parents out there today, then that is all I want.
My daughter, that is my oldest child once remarked after I had decided to let her younger brother stay out a bit later, "Mom, when I was his age I wasn't allowed to stay out that late." My response to her, while holding back a smile was, "Yes dear I realize that. But you were my test model." We both laughed.
However, it does have some truth to it. We do learn from each child different methods that work and some that don't. And then again, each child is uniquely different. I cannot say enough that raising children is trial and error, after all, isn't life about trial and error? You try something, it doesn't work...you try something else and you go on to learn from your mistakes.
Parenting is no different. We aren't perfect. Nor would we want to be. We are human and we make mistakes, but if we learn from them, then as the kids say, "All is good."
My daughter once told me that as she and her brother were walking down the hall at their highschool that they overhead two teachers talking. They were commenting on what nice respectful children they were. When she told me this my response was, "That must have made you feel really good." My daughters response to me.."It's you that should feel good about it Mom, after all you raised us." Now I ask, what better compliment can a mother get from her child than that?
I plan to add my own personal experiences and trial and errors to this blog on a fairly daily basis. I would love to hear some of your own experiences and mistakes you've learned from. Maybe we can all learn from each other?